Experts

I have been wondering lately about how one becomes an expert on something.

Many people go to school for way too long so they can post a few initials after their name. Certainly, they have the information in their heads, and I would assume that they understand the minute details of what it is they have studied. These seem to rank at the front of the pack when it comes to expertise.

Others work at a particular job or in a specific industry long enough and they have seen and done approximately everything there is to do in that field. They eventually stand in the position of having all the rookies and possibly some of the other veterans approach them for advice.

Still more live long enough to become life experts. Eighty some years on this planet have to count for something don't they? They may not consider themselves experts but to last that long, you have to have done a few things right.

My least favorite is the expert who has no qualifications, no experience and minimal years of life on their resume. Middle school kids are the first group who come to mind when thinking about this brand of expert. On any given day, you will be lucky to get a middle school kid to remember what he had for breakfast, but they can pass out relationship advice like they were Ann Landers, Dear Abby and Dr. Phil all crammed into one pint-sized body.

So how does a person come to be regarded as an expert? Is it one of the four things listed above? Maybe it is a combination of all of them. I wonder if 90% of becoming an expert is being confident enough in what you say or do and then presenting yourself as an expert. There has to be some credibility behind your expertise, but it seems that confidence can get you that "expert" label. Maybe I'll try it.

I have been working with middle school, high school and college students for 13 years now. I am an expert. Maybe I will write a book.

Right after I work in another area of my expertise. I'm off to dunk a few Oreos in some milk and curl them to my mouth. (By "a few", I mean anywhere from 4-17 cookies).

Peace.

Lessons

Thursday was the last day of our after school program for middle school kids. I have been working with students for about 13 years now, students from junior high all the way up to college. It is still amazing to keep learning all the time about how kids think and act. I don't have any advanced degrees with letters after my name. I haven't studied formally about how to deal with teenagers and their many, many issues and concerns. Here are a few things that I did learn, or was reminded of, over the last nine months of working with at risk sixth, seventh and eighth graders.

1. We have no control over who our parents are, what they are like as people or as parents, how much they use their gifts or talents, how much money comes into the house or anything else along those lines. We don't get to choose who gives birth to us and then brings us up in this life. The field isn't always level when we start the game.

2. Middle school boys are often full of deadly odors and they are not shy about sharing with others. Enough said.

3. I got quite an education in gang signs and symbols. I am no expert but I now know some things to be aware of. Gangs are often about being connected and taking care of each other. It's all about being "loved" without actually saying that.

4. Lots of kids don't know how to dream. No one talks to them about what they can do when they "grow up". It is difficult to encourage them to dream and stay grounded in reality at the same time.

5. Emotions run high and logic is often non-existent.

6. Things don't automatically happen just because you spend time with a kid. It is good to let your life be an example, but sometimes you need to teach using words.

7. Kids need to know they are loved; that lays the foundation for everything that follows.

8. Change takes time. We want to change the world, but it is one very small step after another.

There were many more moments of enlightenment, too many to list. Suffice it to say that it was a hard year, but a very good year. Our summer programs start in a week so we will be right back at it. I'll keep you posted.

Peace.

Answers?

I think I had a bit of an epiphany a couple of nights ago. I've never had an epiphany before, that I know of, so it's hard to be sure if I really experienced one or not. If anyone has an epiphany test, please pass it on to me.

Anyway, my epiphany consisted of these thoughts. When I write something, really put my thoughts out for others to peruse, I want it to matter. I want it to be information or insight that people will read and be changed somehow for having read it. I don't want to write just to be putting "something" out there.

I also wrestle with one big question..."Why would anyone want to read what I put down?" The details of what goes on inside my head are not really all that appealing, even to me sometimes, so why would another person want a glimpse of that? I am not confident enough that people want to hear from me.

The epiphany came when I was watching a Cubs baseball game and Mr. T was in the broadcast booth. He was talking about going to visit hospitals and spending time with people and bringing what he had to lift their spirits. Nothing against Mr. T, but why would you want to be visited by a large man in a do-rag and too much bling when you're in the hospital? How would that lift your spirit?

The point is, I have enough in me to say and to write and I just need to do it. I will do my best to get past talking myself out of offering opinions or ideas. I will not worry about how I might be exposed if I write what I really think. I'm going to do it.

Starting with the next post.

Peace.

3 Words Again

Nice holiday weekend. At beach twice. Wrightsville beach Saturday. Figure Eight today. In-laws here. Missouri kids too. Former youth group. Big church Sunday. Most people ever.



Work again tomorrow. Seven days left. Afterschool, that is. Summer programs next. Should be fun.



Not much else. Slight writers block. What to write? Do people read? Questions like that. Just write something. Isn't that right?



Peace.

Seriously

I just read my last post. Wow.

I would like to be a writer. I've talked of that in this space before. I would like my writing to inspire people to dream. I want individuals to be deeply changed after reading what I put before them. I desire for people to see the image of God, the creator of the universe, shining through the words that I put together.

So I wrote about poop.

That's an inspiring, life-changing, never-be-the-same kind of topic, isn't it?

I have found myself working long hours lately and I come home very tired. I have dinner, play with the kids for a short time and put them to bed. I seem to be constantly thinking about things I need to do at work. I seem to have lost some humor somewhere along the way. I don't wonder about things. I don't play much and when I do, I feel a little guilty about it. I don't think I laugh as easily as I once did.

I think I need more poop stories in my life. I need to have rambling conversations with my four year old boy. I need to tickle my daughter until she gives up that deep, belly laugh that starts somewhere near the center of the earth. I need to play basketball and talk trash with my ten year old son.

I have seen it happen in people around me. I have worried about it happening to me. There comes a time when poop stories aren't funny anymore. (As I understand it, poop stories aren't ever very funny to the female portion of the population. That's a separate post.) I don't want to get there. I want to laugh about things that might be slightly inappropriate for an adult to laugh at. I want to have the joy and imagination of a four year old who thinks that something is trying to escape his body and is prevented from escaping by other things that will eventually try to escape in their time.

We have to laugh. If we don't laugh, life becomes a drudgery and a duty. Jesus said He came to give life and life abundantly. I believe that includes laughter. I need some more laughter these days.

Got any good poop stories?

Peace.

4-Year Old Brain

Declan Jett: "Dad, I had a poop that was trying to come out when I was outside."

Me: "It was trying to come out?"

Declan Jett: "Yeah, but the other poops pulled it back in."

Me: "Is that when you went inside to the bathroom?"

Declan Jett: "Yeah. The other poops were holding it in and then it broke."

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Peace.

Beaches

When I lived in the midwest, a trip to the beach was something that I didn't really think about all that much. I loved to go to Florida or Alabama and see the ocean but I wasn't thinking about it much when I wasn't there. Now that I live 20 minutes from the beach, if I don't go for awhile, I really start to miss it. In the winter sometimes now, I tell the kids that we need to run by the beach and make sure that the ocean is still there. Jett is the official taster to check the saltiness of the water.

We went to the beach today for the first time this season and it was great. The ocean has such a calming effect and it puts my own little life in perspective. There is so much going on in the water and across the water that my issues seem to shrink a bit. Life is so much more than my small world.

It's good to be reminded of that occasionally.

Peace.