Lessons

Thursday was the last day of our after school program for middle school kids. I have been working with students for about 13 years now, students from junior high all the way up to college. It is still amazing to keep learning all the time about how kids think and act. I don't have any advanced degrees with letters after my name. I haven't studied formally about how to deal with teenagers and their many, many issues and concerns. Here are a few things that I did learn, or was reminded of, over the last nine months of working with at risk sixth, seventh and eighth graders.

1. We have no control over who our parents are, what they are like as people or as parents, how much they use their gifts or talents, how much money comes into the house or anything else along those lines. We don't get to choose who gives birth to us and then brings us up in this life. The field isn't always level when we start the game.

2. Middle school boys are often full of deadly odors and they are not shy about sharing with others. Enough said.

3. I got quite an education in gang signs and symbols. I am no expert but I now know some things to be aware of. Gangs are often about being connected and taking care of each other. It's all about being "loved" without actually saying that.

4. Lots of kids don't know how to dream. No one talks to them about what they can do when they "grow up". It is difficult to encourage them to dream and stay grounded in reality at the same time.

5. Emotions run high and logic is often non-existent.

6. Things don't automatically happen just because you spend time with a kid. It is good to let your life be an example, but sometimes you need to teach using words.

7. Kids need to know they are loved; that lays the foundation for everything that follows.

8. Change takes time. We want to change the world, but it is one very small step after another.

There were many more moments of enlightenment, too many to list. Suffice it to say that it was a hard year, but a very good year. Our summer programs start in a week so we will be right back at it. I'll keep you posted.

Peace.